


someday isn't forever

by rileyhart



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M, Underage Drinking, anti-Joshaya, some zaya angst for y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9566045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rileyhart/pseuds/rileyhart
Summary: They'd kissed for the first time yesterday. It had been slow and wonderful and beautiful, and she'd wondered if she was falling in love. Then it had ended, and he smiled at her; his hand still on her cheek, his thumb caressing it slowly."Long game?" He'd asked."Long game." She'd responded.But that kiss had meant something. It had meant more than someday, it had meant now.But someday isn't forever.





	

**Author's Note:**

> set in tenth grade, maya is still "playing the long game" with josh

They’d kissed for the first time yesterday. It had been slow and wonderful and beautiful, and she’d wondered if she was falling in love. Then it had ended, and he smiled at her; his hand still on her cheek, his thumb caressing it slowly.

“Long game?” He’d asked.

“Long game.” She’d responded.

But that kiss had meant something. It had meant more than someday, it had meant now. Which was why Maya was at NYU looking for Josh that evening.

A party seemed to have bled into the hallway, and she weaved her way through the crowd of college students looking for Josh. She spotted Mike, a friend of Josh, lurking in a corner, red cup in hand, talking to a girl.

“Mike!” Maya shouted over the noise, walking towards him.

He raised his eyebrows in confusion. “Hello?”

“It’s Maya!” She shouted.

The girl whispered something to Mike, and then glared at Maya.

Mike still look confused. “I’m sorry! You must have me confused with someone else!”

“No! I’m Maya Hart! Josh’s… friend.”

The girl raised her eyebrows. “You know Josh Matthews?”

“Yeah!” Maya was really starting to not like this girl.

“What are you? His little sister?” She asked condescendingly.

“No. I’m his girlfriend!” Maya yelled.

The girl snorted so hard that she doubled over, half tripping over her own feet and grabbing Mike for support.

“What?” Maya asked viciously.

“Well, ‘Josh’s girlfriend’,” the girl said, once she’d gotten her breath back, “pretty sure he’s in room 202 I bet he’d love to see you.”

Maya glared at the girl once more before stalking away.

Room 202 wasn’t far away. Maya knocked on the door.

No reply.

She knocked again.

Still no reply.

“Josh?!” She called.

Still no reply.

Maybe he wasn’t even there. The girl had probably lied.

Gingerly Maya pushed the door open.

The girl had definitely not lied.

That was definitely Josh on the bed, topless, very intensely making out with a girl in just her underwear.

She stood there for almost ten seconds before she managed to form words (just in time too, Josh had started to unhook Just-Underwear-Girl’s bra). “What the hell, Josh?!”

Josh and Just-Underwear-Girl jumped away from each other with a shock.

“Maya?!” Josh gasped. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Just-Underwear-Girl looked from Josh to Maya and then back to Josh. “What the fuck is going on Josh?” She asked through gritted teeth. But Josh didn’t respond, he was still staring at Maya in shock.

“I came to see you!” Maya to told Josh, anger and hurt in her voice and tears in her eyes.

“Why?!” Josh exclaimed, sounding both confused and angry.

“Because yesterday meant something to me, Josh! But obviously not to you!” Maya spat at him, stepping closer.

“Wait, who are you?” Just-Underwear-Girl asked Maya.

“His…” Maya hesitated, “sort-of girlfriend.”

Just-Underwear-Girl’s mouth dropped open and she turned back to Josh. “What the fuck, Matthews?” She muttered to him.

Josh didn’t reply, and just put his head into his hand and sighed exasperatedly.

“Wait, how old are you?” Just-Underwear-Girl asked Maya.

“Sixteen,”

“Whoa, jeez, Josh, I though you said you were nineteen?”

“I am!” Josh groaned, not looking up at either girl.

“Okay,” said Just-Underwear-Girl in a fake calm voice, “and what exactly happened yesterday that meant so much to you and not him?”

Josh looked up at Maya, glared at her and then looked away again with another exasperated sigh, as if the whole thing was just annoying and wasn’t tearing Maya’s heart to shreds.

“He kissed me,” Maya murmured quietly, doing her best not to cry.

Just-Underwear-Girl squinted at her. “What kind of kiss? Like did you make out or-”

“Yep, made out, yep.” Maya interrupted her heatedly.

Just-Underwear-Girl turned back to Josh. “You made out with a sixteen year old?! What the fuck Josh?! She’s just a kid! What the actual fuck!”

“Whoa! Amanda! Calm down for fuck’s sake! It was just a kid- kiss, kiss! I meant kiss!” Josh corrected himself quickly.

“What is wrong with you?!” Amanda asked, bewildered.

Josh opened his mouth to reply, but Amanda stopped him. “You know what?” She said, standing up and putting her top and skirt back on. “How about you call me when you stop preying on sixteen year olds,” she picked up her shoes and walked to the door way, “or how about never.“ She turned to Maya, "I’d be careful I were you, I’ve seen him seduce a girl quicker than you can say ‘do you have a condom?’” And then she left.

“Amanda!” Josh called out after her, jumping off the bed and running to the doorway, but she had already disappeared into the crowd.

“Great,” he muttered, falling back onto the bed, “now she’s going to go and tell everyone that I have a sixteen year old girlfriend.”

Maya was quiet for a moment, watching him. She couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She murmured quietly.

He looked up at her. “What?” He asked dismissively.

“You care more about what she’s going to tell people than… than my feelings?!” Her voice was rising now, her anger and confidence growing.

He looked confused, as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

She waited for a response, glaring at him.

“What do you want me to say, Maya?” He asked her.

“That my feelings are more important than some dumb rumour.”

“That 'dumb rumour’ is gonna—“

“Gonna what?” She asked venomously, walking towards him. “Ruin your reputation? Show the true you?”

“Maya, you don’t understand,” he said, feigning calmness.

“What? Because I’m ‘too young’?” She was standing in front of him now. “Because I’m ‘just a kid’?”

He sighed. He knew there was no way out of this.

“ _You_ were the one who kissed me. _You_ were the one who said ‘someday’. That was all you, Josh!” She yelled.

He stood up, and she took a step back, suddenly struck by how much taller he was than her.

“Someday doesn’t mean now, Maya!” He shouted, gesturing with his hands.

“Well it meant now yesterday! When you kissed me! That was now. That wasn’t someday.” There were tears in her eyes now. This perfect vision of what her and Josh were crashing around her.

“You said you didn’t want a ‘nice guy’. Well I’m not a ‘nice guy’, Maya, and here’s the proof.”

“That’s bullshit, Josh!”

“How?! How, Maya? It’s the truth!”

“I don’t understand how you can kiss me _like that_ and then almost have sex with someone else the next day! I don’t understand, Josh!” Her voice broke, but she blinked back her tears.

“Because your sixteen!” He replied quickly.

She frowned and took a step back. “What does that mean?” She asked quietly.

He sighed. “It doesn’t mean anything, Maya.”

“It means we can’t have sex. I’m not an idiot, Josh. And I’m not a little kid.” She said, her voice harsh and cold.

“Maya, it’s nothing to do with sex,” he protested weakly.

“Yes it is. It has everything to do with sex. You didn’t even like Amanda, did you?”

He didn’t reply.

“It was only her in that bed because it can’t be me,”

“Exactly!“ Josh sounded relieved. “So you understand then?”

“Yes, I do,” Maya nodded calmly.

Josh’s shoulders sagged. “Good.”

“You’re a dick who doesn’t take other’s feelings into account and uses them for sex.” She said in the same calm voice. “I understand completely.”

And with that she left, turning before he could see her tears falling. See the hurt in her eyes. She weaved her way through the bodies, snatching a red cup out of the hands of an oblivious passerby. It was full and the alcohol burnt her throat, but it felt good; she quickly swallowed the rest, and snatched another.

She made her way out of the college and to the nearby subway station.

She wanted to be with Zay in that moment.

Zay.

Zay who’d warned her about this.

Zay who’d seen through Josh, who’d known something like this was going to happen.

Zay who was always there for her.

It was dark when she got off the subway. Zay’s apartment wasn’t far off, but it seemed much further than usual. She was only small and the alcohol had been strong. She knew she looked a mess, her eyes bloodshot, her make up smudged, and her cheeks red and wet.

She went up the fire escape, not wanting his parents or brother to see her like this. Zay was in his room, his back to the shut window. She hammered impatiently on it, and he turned, surprised to see her.

“Maya, are you okay?” He asked with concern as he opened the window.

She clambered through, half tripping over her own feet.

“What happened?” Zay asked her again.

She looked at him, and he could see the sadness in her eyes.

“Maya?”

She smiled, and then laughed. It was strange and hollow, and so very un-Maya that it scared Zay.

He frowned. “Do you need me to call Riley?”

“Shhh,” she giggled, placing a finger over his lips.

“Maya?” He raised an eyebrow, amused.

“Kiss me.” She demanded.

“Wait, what?”

“Kiss me,” she said again, before pressing her lips roughly to his.

He was frozen for a moment, shocked, before he found himself kissing her back. He couldn’t help it, he’d wanted this for so long.

Wanted her.

“Maya,” he moaned, her tongue grazing his, their pleasure tantamount.

He could taste the alcohol in her mouth. “Maya,” he murmured again, almost a protest.

She pressed herself as close to him as she could, the alcohol and anger forming some dangerous kind of sexual recklessness, urging her on.

They were no longer standing, but on the bed; Maya’s mouth moved from Zay’s to his neck.

“Maya.” He repeated, firmer, unlatching her hands and forcing her to look him in the eye. “What happened?”

“Don’t you wanna do this?” She asked, sounding upset, offended even.

“Why do you wanna do this?” He asked.

She seemed to crumple in that moment, her shoulders hunching “Josh.” She said simply, and he understood.

He sighed. Of course, _Josh._

“What happened?”

And so she explained it, everything. Every excruciating, embarrassing detail. And he listened, their backs against the wall, their shoulders just touching.

“Jeez,” Zay muttered at the end of her story, “he’s an ass, I’m sorry you went through that, Maya.”

Maya nodded. “Yeah, and after that, I just… wanted to be with you,”

He tilted his head to look at her, smiling. She leant over, their lips just brushed, before Zay pulled away. Even that slight touch had electrified him, made him feel so alive.

“What?” She asked.

“Maya, I…” Zay sighed, “you just want to do this because you’re angry at Josh and a bit tipsy. We shouldn’t risk our friendship over that.”

“I wanna kiss you though, Zay,” she murmured, her words soft and enticing. So he let her, and when she leant in, he kissed her back, responding with just as much passion and roughness.

She was against the wall, and he was practically on top of her, their bodies pressed together, their breathing hot and heavy.

“Zay,” she breathed, as he was the one to move to her neck this time, one of his hands in her hair, the other on her breast. She allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of his lips on tongue on her neck before speaking again. “Zay, I wanna—“ she let out a moan “—have sex. I want to do it.”

He stopped at that. He had too.

“What?” She asked as he removed himself from her, going back to sitting against the wall; their shoulders not touching. “That’s what makes you stop?”

He shook his head, before putting it in his hands. “Arrgh,” he groaned, “we never should’ve done this.”

“Why?” Maya demanded.

“Because!” He retorted, head still in hands.

“Okay fine, no sex, can we please keep kissing though?”

He looked up at her, amazed at her oblivious. “No.”

“Why?” Less demanding, more curious.

“I’m not gonna let you wreck us, Maya. I’m not.” Zay responded, his tone firm.

She hesitated. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, and she was.

“Thank you,” he replied with the same softness.

They sat in silence for a few moments.

“I just… I love our friendship Maya,” Zay attempted to explain, his voice quiet, barely audible above the sounds of the outside world, “and I… I don’t want this to happen because of Josh, because you want to prove something.”

Maya gasped quietly, and turned to look at Zay. “You like me?“

He looked up at her. “I didn’t say that,” he almost laughed, almost made a joke, but couldn’t quite bring himself too.

“Shit,” Maya murmured.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Zay?” She asked after nearly a minute of silence.

“Yeah, Hart?” A flicker of a smirk.

“If I come over tomorrow and kiss you without the anger and alcohol, would that be okay with you?”

He looked at her, shows being serious, he could see it in her eyes. “Yes, I would love that.” He smiled.

Maya smiled back at him, almost nervously.

He shuffled over so that their shoulders were touching again. Maya leant her head on his shoulder, and he slipped his hand into hers, squeezing it softly and entwining their fingers.

At some point that night they crawled underneath Zay’s covers and fell asleep, enjoying the sound of the other’s breath, and the feel of their pulse in their hand, the reminders that they were both alive, together.


End file.
